iris and delilah - ii

[roboqueen]

Iris Huntington might have been arrogant, a control freak, and a self-described bitch, but she wasn’t stupid. She learned from her mistakes - when they were truly her mistakes, and not just the world being stupid - and adapted. So her first robbery might have been a bust, landing her in CIA custody and forcing her to do some quick thinking to escape. But a few weeks later, after ironing out the kinks in her safecracker’s programming and tinkering with the ammo capacity of her guards, she tried again. Coast Star Bank might have been a bit less prestigious, but it was far enough away that the CIA wasn’t watching over it. Coverage of her first attempt had been a curiosity, tucked away in the third pages of newspapers that bothered to cover it.

The Coast Star Robbery, though? Put in the cash, the bonds, the savings, the jewelry and watches, and she had nearly half a million dollars. Now that was something worth reporting on. Front page, a photo of Iris sauntering out of the bank and to her car, flanked by knockout gas and gunfire. One for her trophy room.

She kept going - another few banks and museums, until they started shoring up their security in paranoia. The headquarters of Ford Automobiles during a shareholders meeting, mostly to tell them that their new breakthrough was crap. One day, she’d held an entire movie set hostage, primping and preening in front of the cameras, trying to get the actors to smile. She’d gotten bored and left - but really, that had just been for fun.

But the attention from the public meant attention from the Government, and the day came where her stream of luck ran out. Somehow, they’d found her hideout, nestled away in the Appalachians. Assembly line in an abandoned mineshaft, laboratory and a sprawling apartment on a mountainside, all powered by a series of nearby dams - it might not have been the glamorous retreat a Bond villain would have, but it was close.

And the best part, in Iris’ opinion? A complex-wide speaker system. So while she directed her troops (seventy soldiers strong) from her laboratory, she blasted the Rolling Stones so everybody could hear. Paint It, Black was such a damn good song, and she knew the words by heart.

“Come o~on,” she sing-songed into the microphone, cutting the music out for a moment. “Surrender and I won’t kill you.”

Comments

[roboqueen]

"Isn't it just?" Iris sipped at her drink, taking a look out the window. The mountains, the forest, the sight before her - it really was incredible. She was going to miss it after she left.

(What? They knew about this place, which meant that it wasn't useful anymore.)

"Want the tour?"

[velvetier]

She hadn't actually meant it as a compliment, at least specifically, but it being taken as one put them on a slightly less aggravated course of conversation. Small mercy? Maybe.

"I don't suppose I have anything better to do," Delilah deadpanned.

[roboqueen]

"You really don't," she said brightly. But why wouldn't she want a tour? Iris' home was awesome.

"Living room," she said, raising her glass with a wide gesticulation. "Don't really have company all that much. Moved the TV into my workshop, that's why it's not here. You can stand up, by the way. Walk around. Stretch your legs."

[velvetier]

Trying to resist the urge to sigh, Delilah stood and carried her own glass with her. "It's pretty big, for you not entertaining very often," she remarked.

[roboqueen]

"So?"

Iris sipped from her drink, moving to stand by the window. It was a good view; she was going to miss it.

"Just because I live alone doesn't mean I can't have the best house in the world."

[velvetier]

"I'm not sure it's the best in the entire world," Delilah said, and against her better judgment she teased, "I mean, you haven't seen every house in the world to know, have you?"

[roboqueen]

Iris laughed at that - actually threw her head back and chortled.

"Statistically speaking, you've got a point," she said. Way to her heart, talk science and math. "But - I built this myself. The odds of another building just happening to confer with my specifications are infinitesimal."

[velvetier]

"I guess that makes sense," Delilah admitted. "Especially if your specifications include this specific scenery. There's not a lot of it, overall."

[roboqueen]

"Might. Might not." She had to keep Delilah at least a little bit in the dark. The location was more than just the view, spectacular as it might have been. Iris' lab needed power, hydroelectric, it needed caves for the assembly line, and a railway for easy access.

Not that she was going to up and tell her this. Why ruin the magic?

"Come on," Iris said, jerking her head towards the doorway into the rest of the building. "Wanna see the lab? Factory? Railway?"

[velvetier]

Magic would be a subjective term, in Delilah's opinion, but it wasn't an argument she would bother having, probably. (Although right now she was feeling irritable enough to have a lot of arguments, so who knew.)

"You know, why not," Delilah sighed. "It's all going to be a moot point anyway."

[roboqueen]

"How do you figure?"

It was an honest question. No knowledge was ever wasted, in Iris' opinion, least of all a first-hand tour of one of the most spectacular sites in the world. She led Delilah out of the living room, towards the rest of the facility.

"This is a hallway. That's it, even I can't make hallways exciting."

[velvetier]

"Soon you'll be out of here," she said. "Onto somewhere bigger and better if you have your way. I'm not sure I'm going to make it out of this at all, so what's it matter? Might as well live it up."

She rolled her eyes. She didn't really fear for her life, in any pressing way, but it was an easy thing to be sarcastic about and sarcasm felt like a strong defense.

"I'm sure you could if you tried," she replied cheerfully, "but interesting and safe are two different things."

[roboqueen]

"See?" Iris flashed her a quick grin. "That's why I like you, Agent. You get it." She reached out and rapped a knuckle against one of the walls. "Sturdy wood. Could've made this out of glass or titanium, but all it needs to do is get me from Point A to Point B."

She gestured towards one of the doors. Elevator, it'd take them down into the factory.

"I'm not going to kill you, didn't I tell you last time? But you're right, I'm going to blow this place to kingdom come soon."

[velvetier]

That grin was unsettling, both because it seemed too natural to be shared between them and because, well, it was oddly endearing. She didn't need to be endeared right now, or ever by Iris.

Instead she replied, "I'm not sure I get it. And I wasn't sure the same parameters applied, far as my life goes."

The second part was a lie. She, also in an unsettling way, trusted at least that much about Iris. But it was still the right thing to say, she felt.

[roboqueen]

"You do," she reiterated. "I don't do what I do - live on a mountainside, rob banks, build robotic soldiers - because it's safe. It's because it's interesting. No reason I couldn't have put, I don't know, a pool of sharks below the floors here to liven things up."

Iris shrugged, pulling the lever to open the doors to the elevator. It was more of a cage on a crank, the sort of things that carried miners down the shaft and into the depths of the Earth. Appropriate, given at this had previously been a mine.

"But the trick is knowing when to be practical - and safe, sure - and when to have fun. In you go."

[velvetier]

"Sharks would require so much maintenance," Delilah mused, before she could really think better of it. It wasn't an attempt at a joke, exactly, and it wasn't just a fact, it was somewhere in between. Why she said it was another matter entirely, and one she wasn't entirely sure of.

Instead, she stepped into the elevator, sighing dramatically as she looked around. "A bit primitive, considering the rest of the place."

[roboqueen]

"Maybe I should just build some." Wasn't exactly a terrible idea, robosharks. She'd keep that in mind if she ever wanted to invade a beach or something.

"It was already here," Iris explained, flipping the switch. The elevator creaked and began to descend with a series of loud, rattling clanks. "And honestly, replacing it would've been too much trouble. I've got better things to do."

As they descended, the lights flashed on, one by one, revealing the space below: an assembly line, like in an automobile factory. It wasn't active at the moment, leaving dozens of half-completed robots on a motionless conveyor belt. On the other side of the factory floor, only partially illuminated, a small platoon of her creations stood, waiting.

[velvetier]

Delilah raised an eyebrow. "But you don't have better things to do than robot sharks?" she asked. Call it a healthy inquiry about Iris' priorities, call it mindless smalltalk, call it whatever.

She sipped at her drink as they rode in the elevator, trying to maintain an aloof expression. That was admittedly difficult considering how overwhelmingly grand the surroundings were, but she couldn't be caught looking like some sort of fangirl.

Instead, she waited till they stopped and then asked, "Think you have enough murder machines?"

[roboqueen]

"Not even close."

The answer came immediately, because honestly, no-brainer. She didn't have enough murder machines, not by a long shot. When Iris had enough to take on an army and win, when she'd be able to grind a nation underneath her heel, when she could raise up her own technopalace from the ruins of Washington -

Then maybe she could slow down a little. But enough? Never.

She snorted with laughter, nearly stumbling out of the elevator. "Oh, shit. I just realized - I could kill you here. Nobody would ever know."

[velvetier]

That made Delilah laugh too, though in a very different way. "That's exactly what I've been trying to get at. With all the paranoia and whatnot."

A different, sarcastic, slightly exasperated way.

[roboqueen]

"I don't want to, you know," Iris said. Her voice was a bit more mellow, less of that characteristic swagger, as she turned to fully face her. "I really don't."

She was silent for a moment, letting the weird, echoing quiet of the laboratory stretch on and on throughout the cavern's walls. Then Iris turned away, striding towards a programming terminal. "We should put on some music. What do you like?"

[velvetier]

She raised an eyebrow. "What do you want, then?" she asked.

But there was no winning here, was there. "I like a little of everything," Delilah said, though with a sigh. "What do you have?"

[roboqueen]

What did she want? The question honestly took her a bit by surprise. People didn't usually ask Iris what she wanted in a casual way. When robbing a bank, sure, when holding a Hollywood soundstage hostage. But not in a general, big-picture way.

She wanted - wanted to show off to somebody. Wanted to impress Agent Kaye, and, if she was being honest with herself, wanted to unbutton her. Just a little.

(Maybe a lot)

She didn't go out and say that, though, just plowed onward, ignoring the question completely. "Motown, rock and roll, blues. I've got some swing, if you're as old-fashioned as you look. Oh! Have you heard of the Wonders? They're new."

[velvetier]

Delilah was a woman of the details, but in this case big-picture seemed like a good thing to learn. It might help her figure out what to do or how to get on.

But -- of course Iris wouldn't answer, of course it wouldn't be that easy. So she just shrugged and said, "I haven't. Not the best at keeping up with that sort of thing, though I'm not totally in the dark."

[roboqueen]

She turned away from the terminal for a moment, shooting Delilah an attempt at a charming grin. “You’re in for a treat.”

It didn’t take Iris long to key in the commands - have the automatic record player she invented select the correct record, bring it to the turntable, broadcast it through the lab. But it was a mechanical processing once she sent the order, so it was a solid forty seconds before the speakers crackled to life with the snare drum opening of the song.

“See?” Iris said, twirling around. “They’re great.”